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From the Kitchen Table

Definitions

by Peggy Noonan

What exactly constitutes a marriage? Is it the union of one man and one woman? Or could the definition of marriage be expanded to include any other union between persons, such as two men, two women, or one man and multiple women, to name just a few of the many possibilities? And if the definition of marriage were so expanded, would it matter to society?

Does it really hurt one person's marriage if another chooses to live by a different standard?

To answer that question, we need to begin by recognizing that there is a difference between the conduct of one individual and the definitions by which a society operates.

An example can help to illustrate the difference.

Let's talk about gasoline. The contents of the liquid that comes from every gas pump are clearly and universally defined. They have been defined so the liquid we put in our gas tanks will enable our automobiles to operate properly and safely.

A particular individual may choose to operate his automobile with different contents, and the results of that decision will not necessarily affect the larger society. But if the definition of those contents is diluted so that motorists stopping at a gas station are putting an undetermined substance in their gas tanks, the larger society will be affected. And that lack of definition will have a negative impact.

It's the same with marriage. The union between one man and one woman is the most studied institution in human existence. In those studies, marriage has proven itself to be uniquely beneficial to the man and the woman, to the children resulting from that union, and to the larger society.

As an institution, marriage enables our society to function most properly since marriage has been shown to create greater stability, greater wealth, and better health for families. It helps to ensure that our society operates more safely since communities in which families are intact have been shown to have lower crime rates.

In other words, the marriage between a man and a woman is a societal good. And because it is a unique societal good, the state grants it a unique definition and status.

A particular individual may choose another lifestyle. The results of that personal decision will not necessarily affect the larger society, just as when an individual chooses to put a different substance in his automobile's gas tank.

But acknowledging that individuals may make different life style choices, whether those choices include same-sex coupling, polygamy, or any other option, does not mean that we should dilute the definition of marriage. The time-honored definition of marriage as the union between a man and a woman has demonstrated its value.

And just as we do not call another substance in the gas tank gasoline, we should not call another lifestyle marriage.